Hi! My Name is Edgar!
Hi. I need to tell you something REALLY important. My name is Edgar, and I can count ALL the way to 17! Or sometimes 14 or even 20. It just matters how grumpy I am. If I feel really grumpy, I do not like to count. My mommy will sometimes say, “Sir Edgar the Knight! (Because I am also a really strong and brave knight, but I will tell you about that later.) Oh, Sir Edgar!” she will tell me. “I know you can count very high! Will you help me count these apples so I can make you a yummy pie for being so brave?” And if I am super grumpy, I will tell her no. Sometimes I yell, but I know that hurts mommy’s feelings to yell, and I do not like when people yell at me, so mostly I just say, “Yes, Mommy! Sir Edgar to the rescue!” And then I will count the apples for her.
I am also really super helpful and tell her that the apples are red, and I am really glad they are red, because red apples are my favorite kind. They taste better than the green ones and pink ones. I want to try a purple apple sometime! I think that would be really yummy, because it would taste like mixing a red apple and blue blueberries. I really like blueberries too. I think they are silly because they are circles, but Mommy buys them in a square box. A square full of circles. That is weird, but I like it.
Guess how big I am? No. You have to REALLY guess. Ok. I am so big that I can write big letters AND little letters. My little sister, Beasley (who really annoys me sometimes but is mostly fun to play with sometimes) can only write big letters. But that is ok. I tell her that she can be a big brave knight like me next year, when I am super big like my brother, Newton.
I am tired of talking to you now, so I’m going to go tell Beasley and her best (invisible) friend the story about the dragon I battled yesterday. I took all his treasures, and there was LOTS of Play Doh and stamps. It was the best dragon treasure ever!